Never say Never

Well after   along time of silence I have been inspired to communicate with the outside world.

I am not sure if you will be able to relate to this but isn't it nice  when you are working so hard at a goal and people begin to comment.  I am on an "edit" as Patsy Clarmont said at Women of Faith.  I am editing all the things I have been disgruntaled about in my body for so long.  It has taken  me years to get to the point where I could stick to a plan.  Thanks to my husband who made me make a  year commitment so this is a lifesytle change, to Weight Watchers for tools and tips, and to my few friends who constantly keep me accountable. I  can say there is less of me.  My goal is to be 2/3 of the way to my goal by Christmas.  The fun things is I have been so inspired that I have started a  small church exercise group that meets once a week to do Turbo Jam together.  It feels great to know that I have support from my friends and family.  It also feels good because I feel for the first time I am getting a handle on a stronghold that has plauged my life so the THANKS  SHOULD ULTIMATLEY GO TO GOD  for brining all these people and tools into my life at this time because he is the one who makes me strong when I am weak.

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope or confidence."   - Helen Keller

I think Helen Keller had some wisdom. At the same time I wonder  if she missed something huge.  In  3 days I will turn one year older and I think in this one year I have gained a little wisdom the hard way.  I am enduring a season right now that  has been one of the hardest in my life. I have endured storms that have taken  tangible things away from me but this storm threatened my integrity, my  reputation, my very lively hood.  I have been depressed and almost lost all hope.  Then God started talking, not audibly  but through people around me.  I had to refocus and look to him instead of looking to my own strength.  My focus on him gave me  optimism and the hope.  I am still battling with confidence but I have been reminded over and over God is in control there is a reason this is happening and the only way that you can fail is to quit and get stuck in the valley. 

I know God has a good plan one to give me a hope and a future.  I know for sure this season has to last for one more month.   So I will keep fighting the good fight doing my best to rely on the  ROCK, MY LORD and SAVIOR because THROUGH HIM I CAN DO ALL THINGS. 

On the other side I can see the Son, the light at the end of the tunnel where I can  relax.  I can't wait to have undivided time that I can spend with my friends and my husband without any worries. I revel in the fact that God has been and will continue to be faithful no matter what.  That is where my  faith  that leads to achievment and my hope and confidence lie.

Today is the day of reckoning...

Have you ever  received an important letter in the mail?

  You go out to the mail box, open it and see the envelope. You take a deep breath and say a prayer. Then there is a wrestling in your soul: Do you want to open it or should you have someone you trust open it and only let you see it if the news is good?  Then you just can't wait so you rip it open pull out the content close your eyes.  A thought might run through your head "One more prayer can't hurt, Oh God, please let the news be good."   You open your eyes and scan for the acceptance, or in my case the score of the Praxis test."

 I took the Praxis 4 weeks ago.  The test was extremely difficult. For the last 4 weeks I haven't really thought about it until.... 
I  got a call Tuesday that informed me that scores were sent out that very day. The last 3 days my heart has been so anxious running to get the mail each day. 

Yesterday the scores arrived....
and .... 

Yee Haa!!! And PRAISE THE LORD!!!
 I Passed The Test That Allows Me To Be a Certified Teacher!!!! 
  One more hurdle down with a couple more to go.

I am in the process of deciding if that is the path I want to pursue with this degree. 
I have a couple other dreams I am weighing out
during my student teaching.
I guess through it all I am learning more and more about
the faithfulness of God
and how he opens and closes doors
to get us to the fulfillment of our
dreams and calling he has put on our life.

Just a little update...

Well we made to and from the wintery wonderland.  We relaxed this whole Christmas Break!  For the first time, since I started to college (which seems like years ago), was ready to go back to school on Jan 7th. Finally, I  completed the Praxis test today and now I get to wait for four weeks to find out how well I did.  OH MY!!!

In the meantime....

Yes  I am now in a classroom for  8 hours a day teaching and  2 hours at least collaborating for the good of  18-36 Kindergarten and 1st graders.  The first week has been grueling.  I am exhausted at night after I get home.  I am hoping that as a acclimate to this different level of demand that my energy level picks up.

In the first week  I have learned about this profession I am pursuing.  Besides being a teacher you are now a counselor, a social worker, the nurturer, the referee and the computer technician.  You have to watch out for legal issues and respond correctly to everything from kids to parents  from professors to colleagues.  You have to plan, copy, write, read, play in room and in the cold, you are the disciplinarian and time and the one where all praise come.  All of this and you have to know the exact time at the exact place to implement each of these roles.
Are you tired just reading it?
If you combined all of these jobs you could be a millionaire but we all know that is not the case. 

When I got my placement I was dreading it.  I had heard stories, ones that were not so good.  Now after my first week I am taking a differing look at the situation.  Maybe, just maybe, I was put here to prepare me.   I have sat through multiple training on  issues from reading to technology. I have got to see a lot of behind the scenes expectation and issues that teachers face.  I have got to hear from teachers how they arrange their outside life to accommodate what they do and love.  I have a feeling that the long days are giving me a realistic view of  what the real job is like.  That will be hugely beneficial the first year.

So one week down 15 to go.  Say a little prayer for me if you think of it.  Thanks